THE DAY IT ALL WENT WRONG
by Darksky Alchemist
Summary: On one beautiful morning in the Castle that Never Was, Xigbar is surprised when he is requested to share the divine tales of his dark past. At last, the historical events of his most horrifying hours are revealed to the other Organization members.........
1. The Mysterious Eyepatch

**A/N:** Sigh I hate disclaimers, they take up too much space. (:P) Please assume that I take no claims of ownership whatsoever upon Kingdom Hearts, or Kingdom Hearts characters, or anything else to do with Kingdom Hearts. Or Marmaduke. This story was written for a birthday present for my best friend in the whole wide universe, so to her it is dedicated:

_This story is dedicated to ("you know who you are") ._

_May her love for Xigbar, Number II, The Freeshooter _

_Live on forever with the spirit of this deranged story._

_Thank you public._

I hope you like this story as much as she did!!!! Enjoy it please!!!!  
PS: If you have any advice to share with me about this story, please don't hesitate to review! All constructive critisism is welcome and accepted! (But dispicable, cruel, hurtful words make me cry, so please refrain from playing with matches around my stories. --Or anyone's for that matter.)

* * *

**"****THE DAY IT ALL WENT ****WRONG****"**

_A Xigbar Tale by Darksky Alchemist_

Xigbar roared with laughter as his hands clenched upon the page of newspaper comics he was holding.

"Marmaduke...I love that guy." He told himself quietly, a smile still flitting across his face. He placed the newspaper back on the smooth mahogany kitchen table and scratched the side of his cheek, where a patch of discolored skin scarred his otherwise perfectly smooth jaw line. He quickly withdrew his fingers and groaned. They were black from the friction of newsprint, and he had just wiped the ink all over the side of his face. Pushing back his chair as he did so, Xigbar stood up and approached the kitchen sink, grumbling at his own stupidity. He turned on the tap as warm water streamed over his unclean fingers.

"Xigbar?"

Xigbar grunted in reply, not looking away from the sink and now lathering soap all over his hands. He heard chair legs scraping on the floor and then a soft thump as a small bum took its seat.

"Um, I've been wondering." Said the voice.

"Really." Replied Xigbar. He heard the Nobody behind him shift uncomfortably.

"Well, I've really been wondering about...I mean...I didn't want to hurt your feelings. But I just really have to know!"

"About what?" Xigbar turned around, curious now, and tilted his head at Number IX.

"Um...well...I don't mean to be rude...but...well how come you only have one eye?" Demyx asked, leaning forward in his seat, simply burning with interest. Xigbar paused, his hands only half dried on the tulip patterned tea-towel. He frowned, thinking.

"Oh, well...Hm." He said, nodding. "That's a very good question, now that you mention it, as it does, of course, lead to a terrific story." Xigbar plopped himself back into his previous chair and leaned on the table, hunched over as if about to reveal something devious. Demyx grinned in relief.

"Oh boy oh boy!!! I can't wait!" He cried in excitement. He flung his hands onto the table and folded them neatly in front of himself.

"Are you sure you want to know? It's very heroic." Xigbar said as he raised an eyebrow. Demyx nodded enthusiastically. Xigbar cleared his throat loudly.

"So, it all started that one day in May. It was pretty nice out. And I was just walking along, minding my own business..."

* * *

It was a clear, warm day, and the sun shone brightly overhead. It had the feel of the mere beginnings of spring, which was welcomed openly by all those in Hollow Bastion who had been starved of a warm breeze and the soft feel of grass for an unusually long, grey, winter. A man with sleek, black hair pulled into a low ponytail gently closed his amber eyes and took a deep breath of fresh air as his well-built chest expanded. He stood at the top of a neat, cement staircase, shielding his eyes from the sun. Xigbar grinned and set off down the staircase, bouncing happily as he went. It was a beautiful day in Hollow Bastion for a haircut, he thought. Couldn't have picked better weather. He smiled and nodded at an elderly couple as he passed, and they skittered away frantically, muttering about hoodlums. _Bless them._ Xigbar thought as he watched them. He was in such a good mood that he didn't even curse as a child in rain boots ran by through a puddle and splashed his spotless, recently dry cleaned robe. His eyes were suddenly averted when something white and red caught his eye. At the very end of the cobblestone street sat a small barbershop, wedged in-between an old spaghetti factory and a shop that sold office supplies. The red and white umbrellas on picnic tables seemed to wave in welcome to Xigbar from in front of the hairdressers. He quickened his pace, wanting to reach it as fast as he could. He began swinging his arms back and forth as he developed a new bounce in his step. Humming "Baa Baa Black Sheep" could not dull the excitement coursing through him as he imagined himself in the barber chair, sipping a shiny glass of peach wine, complete with a little pink umbrella. Then suddenly, he heard a soft humming that was not his own. A fly shot out of nowhere and whizzed around Xigbar's head. His expression mirrored that of somebody who had just swallowed a lemon. He squinted into the sun as he waved both arms around his head, attempting to ward off the little black fly. For a moment, he thought he had succeeded, and grinned ruthlessly. A buzzing in his left ear told him otherwise, so he walloped himself squarely in the ear hole, causing himself to become slightly dizzy. The unharmed bug continued to zoom around him, clearly daring him to try that again. Xigbar glared at the creature. He would _not_ let this monstrous idiot ruin his wonderful day, he decided silently. He looked ahead and was once again filled with thrill upon realizing that the barbershop was only a few yards away now. He beamed enthusiastically, but his smile faded almost sooner than it had arrived. That stupid little fly had landed on his face, precisely above his right eye. Xigbar stopped dead in his tracks, determined this time. Slowly, and extremely cautiously, he raised his hands, careful not to make any sudden movements. The insect's defeat was near, and it must know, thought Xigbar, because it had become oddly still. Xigbar's hands were now at eye level. An evil smirk worthy of Organization XIII cracked upon his face as he wished the little bug nothing but doom. 

"Say your prayers, bug. It's time to meet your demise." He whispered.

A small, winged shape appeared in the sky in front of him, flapping very quickly in Xigbar's direction. There was no time to think. The fiendish little bat dove straight at his face, plummeting towards its goal: the insect. Xigbar screamed in fright as the bat viciously clung to his eye, scratching up his eyelid, as it chomped on the fly. The shouts of alarm had changed abruptly to yells of pain.

"GET IT OFF ME!!!!!" He bellowed, running around blindly in a zigzagging pattern. He waved his arms above his head in an attempt to free himself from the tiny winged mammal. Xigbar felt his foot hit something hard and unmistakably wooden, and tripped, flying forwards. The picnic table he had just tripped on did nothing to help him with the bat problem, but just sat on the sidewalk looking curious. There was a resounding clonking noise as Xigbar smashed right into the barbershop door and fell backwards. As he collided with the ground, the bat lifted off and casually flew away, his tummy now full of six legged goodness.

* * *


	2. The Intimidating Hairstyle

* * *

"...And there I was, surrounded by ten, no - twelve -, six legged demons! And some gladiators!! All of them were smacking their jaws and drooling all over the street." Xigbar waved his arms around dramatically in order to capture the moment properly and deliver it to Demyx in full. Demyx gasped, clutching his heart.

"How did you get out of that, Xigbar?"

"Well," Said Xigbar matter-of-factly, "after I pulled out my snipers and shot every one of 'em several times in vital organ areas, it was still too late for my poor eye." He finished, pointing at the eye patch over his right eye.

"Wow, Xigbar! I can't believe you kept your cool at such a vulnerable moment! That was really brave!" Demyx complimented, his eyes shining in adoration. Xigbar buffed his nails on his chest.

"I try." He said, uttering a highly fake sigh. Xigbar looked up. A flash of the brightest red had caught his eye from the kitchen doorway.

"What are you two yapping about?" Said a man with a smooth, calm voice. He walked into the kitchen and around the table to lean on the counter, staring at Xigbar with his inquisitive green eyes.

"Axel!! Xigbar was telling me the story of how he lost his eye!" Exclaimed Demyx eagerly. Axel smiled at him.

"See? I told you it wouldn't hurt his feelings." He said, walking towards the pantry door.

"Yeah! But I knew it all along, of course!" Replied Demyx happily. Xigbar could hear Axel clanking around in the pantry cupboards when he next spoke.

"Though I'm pretty sure he made that whole story up." He said casually. Xigbar frowned and quickly looked at Demyx, afraid of losing his younger associate's idolism. There was nothing to fear, however. Demyx hadn't heard, he was struggling with a black thread that was trailing off his robe.

"Hmph. How do you know?" He snapped savagely at Axel, turning back to him angrily.

"Oh, I don't know." Shrugged Axel, emerging from the pantry with a tub of gummy bears in hand. "It's only completely obvious."

"Yeah, whatever, flame boy, you're just totally jealous."

Axel ignored him and sat next to Demyx at the table, offering him some gummy bears.

"But what I'm really curious about isn't how you lost your eye, though. I've heard that one about seven times already. It's been different every time." Axel shot Xigbar a mischievous grin, obviously aiming to irritate the Nobody. Demyx looked up from his game of gummy-bear-family-house and gazed at Axel with his big blue eyes.

"What d'ya mean?" He asked. Axel patted him on the head in an older-brotherly like way.

"Nothing, Demyx."

Xigbar put his elbows on the table and plunked his chin down in his hands.

"So what _is_ it that you're curious about then, Axel?" Asked Xigbar, choosing to ignore his friend's attempts to aggravate him.

"Aw, ik knock fomefing oo holly yanna kawk a'out." Axel replied thickly, for he had only just rammed a gigantic handful of gummy bears into his mouth the moment Xigbar had asked his question. Xigbar wrinkled his nose and stretched his mouth back in disgust.

"Close your mouth!" He ordered. Axel gave a huge gulp and swallowed the wad of candy, cringing as it stretched his throat. Demyx began shoveling gummy bears out of the tub and onto his placemat as to save some for himself.

"Aww, Axel! Don't eat them all!" He said.

"I _said_..." Axel repeated. "That it's not something you probably want to talk about. Truthfully, anyways." He smirked. Xigbar shot him a dirty look.

"Fine!" He cried defiantly. "I'll tell you anything you want to know! Shoot!" He commanded, waving a hand impatiently, his body language screaming of defiance and attitude.

"Okay." Axel shrugged. "Tell us how you got those grey streaks in your hair."

Xigbar's face fell. That was a tender subject.

"Um...I..." He stuttered, grabbing at random thoughts to try and make words, "I uh...Oh, I was born like this...unfortunately." He added. Axel's smile was way too understanding for Xigbar to handle. He growled out a sigh and glared at the fridge behind him.

"Alright. I'll tell you."

Demyx whooped and Axel closed his eyes and pulled a clenched fist towards him.

"Yeeessssssss." He hissed in triumph. Demyx yanked on his shoulder and held up his hand for a high five. Axel obliged, then the two Nobodies turned back to Xigbar expectantly. He sighed, defeated.

"Alright..." He decided to speak to the table instead of his companions, not being able to help feeling that uttering this story may not be such a good choice.

"It was the same day I lost my eye, in fact. The same place. I was bleeding pretty badly, so I...just continued along to the barbershop..."

* * *

"Oww...I can't believe I was just attacked by a bat in broad daylight...and nobody helped me." Whined Xigbar from the smooth, red leather barber chair. A fat wad of cotton gauze had been taped to his face over his right eye, and a bloody rag was clutched in his unsteady hand. The shoe and sock had been removed from his left foot, and a pack of ice sat gingerly across the top of his toes.

"I help you, sir!" Said Xigbar's regular Italian hairdresser, poking his head around the back of Xigbar's chair with a raised finger as to look at him in the mirror. His bald spot gleamed from the crown of his head, peeking out from within his thin, wispy white hair.

"Yes, Alberto, you helped me. Thanks, pal." Said Xigbar appreciatively. He had always had a soft spot for his barber; a man whom he had no choice but to trust.

"I make you feel good!" Said Alberto. Now, thought Xigbar, that was going a little bit too far.

"I like you Alberto, but not like that."

"No, no, no!" Alberto shook his overlarge head. "I make you feel more good than now! See! I make you have sexy ponytail!"

"Ooooh, I get it, dude! Yeah...A haircut _would_ make me feel better!" Xigbar nodded vigorously, but he stopped quickly because it made his eye throb nastily. "I came to Hollow Bastion for a haircut, and I am going to get a haircut! No matter what the cost!" He announced, his face set in determination.

"Okay, what I do to you?" Asked the barber, circling him with his little silver scissors. Xigbar studied himself in the mirror. His smooth hair was solid black. A little too morbid, he thought. Maybe he'd get a do like those surfer dudes down the beach in Atlantica. Yeah, chicks dig it.

"Why don't you streak my hair, Alberto? Some cool blonde is the only thing I can think of that could possibly make me any sexier." Xigbar nodded at himself in the mirror, satisfied. Alberto bounced with excitement.

"That is possible, yes! I get material! You wait!"

When Alberto returned with a stylish dove patterned (And slightly gay, thought Xigbar) box filled with hair clips and brushes and dye bottles, he spun Xigbar's chair around, gently pulled out his long ponytail, and set to work.

For hours, Xigbar stared excitedly at Alberto's bald spot, fantasizing about how great he would soon look, strutting down the road with herds of women flocking behind him, and the jealous looks of his comrades back at The Castle that Never Was when he walked through the door with his hot new look.

Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime of patience, Alberto stepped back to admire his work. A nervous excitement rose inside Xigbar as his hairdresser beamed at him.

"Is it good?" He asked eagerly. Alberto clapped his hands.

"Oh yes, very good, very good! All Italy ladies are getting this look!"

Xigbar's heart plummeted and settled somewhere below his right kneecap.

"The...the ladies?" Asked Xigbar, a lot less nervously than he felt.

"Yes, yes!! The ladies have long hair, you have long hair! Is very popular!" Replied Alberto.

Xigbar could understand Alberto's logic; he _was_ foreign after all. As long as it wasn't retarded, that would be okay, he thought desperately.

"You ready to see?"

"Y-yeah. Yeah, just show me already!" He said, plucking up his courage. Alberto spun the chair around to face the mirror. The face that looked back at him was pale and horrified. Thick greyish strands streaked very noticeably along through his previously perfect hair. Alberto held up the little bottle of grey dye in front of Xigbar's face.

"We out of blonde colour! I use closest colour to! Very dashing, I hope you like!"

A flock of pigeons relaxing outside the barbershop suddenly screeched and hastily took flight as a bellowing scream erupted from inside the shop and resounded throughout all of Hollow Bastion.

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	3. The Epic Scar

* * *

"...So I totally freaked out, and that...that is what happened." He finished somewhat sheepishly. Number VII lowered a half-eaten grilled cheese sandwich from his mouth thoughtfully.

"And to think, all this time I thought you were just born with grey streaks in your hair."

At sporadic points of Xigbar's second long winded story, the interest of other Organization members had seemed to have been caught. As they had been passing through the kitchen during the usual morning castle bustle, Saix, Luxord, and Xaldin had found themselves seated at the table as well as Axel and Demyx, drawn to the never before heard historical tour of Xigbar's past mishaps.

"Here, I just thought he was an old man." Axel added, popping the last gummy bear into his mouth fiendishly. Xigbar growled in frustration and slammed both hands onto the table.

"I told you the truth so that you _wouldn't_ make fun of me!" He shouted.

"Oh." Said Axel. "I thought you _knew_ we wanted the truth so that we _could_ make fun of you! Properly, that is."

"You scum!" Xigbar raised a fist as Axel let out a bark of laughter.

"Ah, I forgot what it was like to visit the barbershop." Said the man with overgrown sideburns who sat at the head of the kitchen table, reminiscing. Axel snorted with laughter, and Demyx burst out laughing at how stupid his snort sounded.

"Nobody is surprised. The last time you visited a hairdresser was most likely in a past life of your Somebody." Saix said to Xaldin, motioning to the Nobody's thick eyebrows and long, tangled dreadlocks. Xigbar had always thought they looked as if they might be hiding some sort of deceased animal carcasses. Xaldin chose this moment to raise a monstrous eyebrow, which caused the blonde bearded man beside him to shout out in terror.

"Don't _do_ that!!" He cried, twiddling the earring in his left ear. Luxord turned his back on Xaldin and looked instead at Xigbar, who had been snickering.

"So that's the story about your eye...and your hair..." Demyx pondered aloud, counting down his answered questions on his fingers. "And...oh yeah! What about your scar?"

The group fell silent, gazing intently at Number II. Xigbar, however, had turned slightly green.

"You _don't_ want to hear that story."

There was an outbreak of protest, whining, and demanding.

"We MUST hear that story!" Commanded Xaldin, standing up and looming over him. Xigbar continued to stare, absently, straight ahead, apparently deep in nightmarish thought.

"I'm serious. It's..." He cast his thoughts around, searching for the right words. "...gruesome."

Axel raised his eyebrows and glared at Xigbar. He caught the drift.

"It's the truth! Believe me...it's...ugh... " Xigbar pleaded, unable to suppress a shudder. He looked around at his comrades, who were refusing to take their eyes off of him for fear of missing even a piece of the great piece of juicy gossip they were about to hear. He put his head in his hands and muttered.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

* * *

Xigbar tiptoed across the entrance hall of the Castle that Never Was, determined to reach his quarters before any other Organization member could so much as set eyes on him. He already had marks on his face from where he had clutched it in despair while sitting in the barbershop that morning. He didn't need to burst any blood cells in his face from blushing of horrendous embarrassment. Xigbar stopped at the kitchen door and clasped the brass doorknob nervously, afraid of what he might find on the other side. He'd just have to make a break for it, that's all. Slowly, he turned the doorknob and gently pushed the door open.

"Hello, Number Two!!"

"Crap! As if!" Xigbar gasped and try to slam the door shut, but a pair of highly manicured hands pulled it open with unexpected strength and pulled him unwillingly into the gleaming kitchen. Xigbar wrenched his arm out of the clawed grasp and whipped around, trying to escape.

"Hey, wait up there, Xigbar!" Said the deep voice from behind him. He didn't answer, determined to vanish on the spot. He had almost reached the stairs, when he felt something thick and prickly wrap around his legs, forcing them together.

"WHOA!" Xigbar fell, crashing to the ground in a heap at the foot of the handsome staircase; a complete and total failure.

"Slow down a little! Why the rush?"

He felt someone pull him to his feet as the prickly thing unraveled from around his knees. Looking down, Xigbar could see it was a long, green vine. How he wished he could have gotten caught by Demyx, or somebody else, anybody else... Xigbar thought desperately. Why him? He allowed himself to be dragged back to the kitchen, resisting the urge to cry.

"Come now; tell Marly the problem, okay?"

Xigbar was forced into a seat at the table. He reluctantly raised his face to look at Marluxia's fluffy pink hair in disgust.

"Ugh." He grunted, despising everything about his very feminine captor. He felt so depressed; he didn't even have the strength to make another attempt at escape. Marluxia gasped and grabbed Xigbar's wrist, moving around the table to sit down beside him.

"What in the world happened to your eye, Xigbar? And you're hair! Oh my, your hair was in top condition this morning, which, coming from _me_ is saying something of intense importance!!" He twittered over Xigbar's totaled appearance of barbequed road kill and flopped back down beside him. "Tell me what happened!" Marluxia demanded, sounding like his mother. Xigbar sighed.

"No, it's okay. I'll keep it to myself thanks."

"I'm sure talking about it will make you feel better!"

"No, I'm serious. I'd like you to go away now, please." Xigbar said in a monotone voice. Marluxia folded his hands in his lap with concern.

"At least let me help you feel better about it all!"

And with that, he leaned towards Xigbar and planted a small and caring kiss right on his cheek.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Xigbar leapt off his chair and rushed to the sink. He turned the taps so violently that he may have just ripped them off, then stuck his face under the faucet. It was a few seconds before he realized that Marluxia had jumped up after him, blubbering again.

"NO!" Xigbar stood up quickly and slid past Marluxia, leaving the water running. He could hear Marluxia, still jabbering about something behind him, but he ignored it completely and ran up to his room as fast as he possibly could. When he reached his bedroom door, Xigbar threw it open in such a panic that it bounced back off the wall, slipped inside and bolted the door shut. He slammed his back against it in case somebody tried to force it open. For a few minutes, he didn't move at all, save for his retching gasps for air. Finally, as everything began to come back to him, he cautiously moved away from the door and towards the bathroom. He had to see for himself...the horrible damage...he just had to know...

Xigbar's mirror...his very best friend in the whole wide world...had just shown him his worst nightmare. The gauze over his destroyed eye socket was crusty and brown with dried blood; the invading streaks in his hair were as grey as ever; and a horribly ugly, disfiguring scar was forming where he had just been kissed, and it was spreading across his smooth cheek like disease.

Xigbar collapsed and was reduced to a sobbing heap of deranged sadness on the tiled bathroom floor.

* * *

There was a short silence around the small table. Demyx took a deep breath.

"That was a sad one, Xigbar."

"You must be glad that Marluxia is not here." Suggested a large, burly man who had recently joined the table beside Xigbar. At this, Axel cackled.

"Yeah, that was so sad." He said, holding back a struggling burst of laughter. Xigbar growled at him, then glared around at everybody at the table, as if daring them to follow in Axel's footsteps. The crowd had grown considerably larger, as they were now accompanied by Xemnas, Vexen, and Lexaeus as well.

"How interesting." Said the Superior thoughtfully, gazing up at the roof. "I had been wondering why you were shut up in your room for three weeks straight that one time."

"Yeah, it was like when you came out, you had undergone some kind of mutant transformation!" Said Luxord, nodding seriously.

"Hmph." Xigbar plopped his elbow down on the table, feeling irritated and as if he never should've even begun to consider entertaining Demyx that morning.

"I thought you had been working downstairs in the laboratory, working with Vexen on some strange new experiment." Xemnas told him.

"Me too." Said Vexen.

Axel sighed tiredly and nodded at Xigbar.

"Well, thank you for that lovely sermon, but I'd like to brush my teeth now. I really must chivvy." He said, smiling at Xigbar from across the table. He pushed himself out of his chair and stalked out of the kitchen, waving back at him as he did. There was a general murmur of agreement, and most of the Organization made their way out of the kitchen and back to their business. Finally, after Vexen shook Xigbar's hand and headed back down to his dungeon, the only two members left were Demyx and Xigbar.

"I think that was a good story. The way you handled your hair, and escaped from Marly, and battled those six-legged things was really cool! Thanks for telling me about it!" And with that, Demyx slid off his chair and hurried off out of the kitchen. Xigbar smiled, and thought maybe he should've told the truth about his eye, and switched the true scar story with the heroic battle one. It was almost true, anyways. Next time he would do that then, he decided, going back to his unfinished page of newspaper comics.

**THE END**

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**A/N:** Well, that's all folks! There have most likely been many stories on the subject of how Xigbar became mutilated, but they're always fun to read! I hope mine was fun and original enough for you! I had fun writing it anyways!! Thanks for taking time to read "The Day it All Went Wrong"!


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